This is the first post in a series on fear. (anxiety/worry)
The past few weeks have been the most fear-filled of my life.
But God is bit by bit redeeming my weakness and terrible recent experience by using the temporal bad to usher me towards the Eternal Good (Himself).
I am not yet healed of my fear, but I’m closer.
Jesus is my only hope for restored peace. Will you walk through this process with me?
Can we grow together?
Almost an entire month has passed since that armed man entered our home and snatched my peace. I hadn’t even changed out of pajamas on that beautiful Wednesday morning before he’d lurched through the door and put me screaming on my knees — knees that would remain weak for weeks to follow.
How can eight minutes with a stranger taint my view of everything?
Family, friends, and church members circled around us like the arms of God. They’ve fed us, hauled our moving boxes, hugged us in hallways, written notes, sighed for the peace we’d lost. For a while, I thought my eight minutes of terror were well worth the love we’d received in exchange. But when the fear lingered, I changed my mind.
I didn’t know then how this panic would last — even spread — like and inkwell dumped across gauze. The fear bled through all of me, and I thought it might stain. I’d shake my head in disgust because I’m a child of God, and aren’t we washed white as snow? Why would I tremble in the grocery store, in the parking lots, at my bathroom sink — soaked and blotched in fear of man? Didn’t Christ buy my freedom from these chains I shuddered under?
Brad wrapped his arms around me one night and said, “Give yourself time… grace.” He said my emotions need time to heal, like a broken bone nestled inside a cast. And I still feel broken, snapped clean in two. Buy why? The burglar did not touch me, did not harm me. I gush to God with gratitude for all that was spared, while scolding myself for feeling so victimized when nothing was lost at all.
And so I’d open my Bible like it was a drug and swallow down each verse like a miracle cure…
I’d pray for each dose to remedy the turbulence in my soul…
…only the words on those thin pages made little sense.
Lately, though, God has unbent a few of my question marks and shaped them into exclamation marks of praise. Those shattered cracks in my psyche are the places where His truths can penetrate.
I’m still full of uncertainty. I still jump when strangers enter my grocery aisle. But I can feel redemption’s warmth thawing my frost-bitten nerves.
And as I learn, I’d love to capture a few rays of His light and share them here, with you.
You may not worry like I do these days.
But we’re all anxious about something.
And Jesus calls us to more peace than that.
Will you grow with me?
Let’s study fear.
Let’s study God, and discover Him to be the remedy to all fear.
I know He’ll heal me.
He can heal you, too. Will you join me?
What is your greatest fear? I’ll pray for you as I pray for myself.