I have to be honest with you. Lately, I’ve felt spiritually numb.
And here’s the thing…
I love God.
I know His Spirit is with me.
His Word (the Bible) blows my mind with its depth and beauty and literary/artistic genius combined with literal truth.
I believe God answers prayer.
But somehow, I don’t feel dazzled by these truths. Not in the same way I sometimes have in the past.
And I’m frustrated by it. I say to myself, “Come on, Rachel! How perfect is our story of redemption? How creative is its Author? And it’s a TRUE STORY! Be amazed by that!”
yet I slink through my quiet time, jotting down verses that stand out in an obligatory manner. Not because they set my heart on fire. (They once set my heart on fire.)
I’m not sure what’s going on.
I’m sure part of me is maybe grieving more than I want to admit to myself.
Throw on some basic human nature, (aka sinfulness, spiritual laziness, and navel-gazing,) and you have a basic recipe for apathy towards God.
I’m not telling you this as self-punishment.
I’m telling you because one of you is probably right here with me.
And I’m saying this: We cannot give up.
If we want to see real beauty in this life, our only hope is through seeing Jesus.
We won’t see Him with faces turned away.
We won’t hear Him without coming for conversation.
We won’t know Him more while avoiding His Word. (Or, at best, reading through God’s passionate love letter to us as though it were junk mail.)
Marriage takes work, even for us — the Church — the Bride of the Perfect Husband.
We must make time for the romance.
We must fight to again feel head-over-heels in love.
Faith and grace are gifts, and God will grant us with more of these at our request.
And until the flame is burning bright again, we remember that love is a commitment, rather than an emotion.
We may fail at keeping our commitments, but our Savior promises to hold up His end of the bargain and more. The One more than worthy of our every ounce of affection is holding tightly to us. He won’t loosen His grip. His love never fails, even when ours does.
Man, that is sweet love.
I think my heart just fluttered.