Monday, October 1, 2012

{2} Waiting is Loss of Control... Or Is It?

Never have I written with such fear and trembling.
Tears fill my eyes as my inbox fills with your emails and comments...
Sweet Christian sisters are waiting, hurting, living in the land of in-between.

I write each of your names on a list and pin it to my cork board.  I stare at the prayer requests long before I can find words to pray.

Dear God, what can I say to these hurting women?  Waiting is so hard.

Everything in me wants to find a solution... a path to the end of these waits.  A dear friend is currently adopting, and the final steps are taking too long.  I hold the phone and my tongue, promising myself to simply listen, instead of brainstorming solutions which, in reality, would bring her no closer to this adoption's sweet end.

Waiting feels paralyzing.  So little can be done.  

Isn't that the hardest part of any wait?
We come face to face with this harsh truth: 
We are not in control. 

And in the midst of pain with no end in sight, powerlessness feels like such a cruel reality.

Except it isn't cruel at all.

Would you believe me if I told you your feeling of powerlessness is really a sweet gift?

I know, circumstances look dim.
Your stomach is in knots and you cannot guess when or if  you'll ever get all you hope for.
You're walking in the dark, and desperately need just a hint of what the future holds.

And perhaps you remember a time when life was...
more simple.
more certain.
When life was lived rather than delayed.

Can I tell you a secret?
No one is in control of their own lives.

Even during that euphoric prior phase you remember as so much easier... when it felt like life responded to all of your directions and input.... even then... you were never in control.

If it feels like I'm heaping bad news onto your already hurting heart, I understand.
We have so much to talk about this month... so much more we'll walk through together.
If you're not ready to jump with joy at the idea that you were never in control, I understand.
Take your time.

In our hearts, we plan our lives.  But it is God who determines our steps.

Despite the most horrific tragedies some of you face, please trust this: God is love. And while He is not guilty for the brokenness of this world, He is absolutely in control.  If He is allowing pain in your life, it is pain with a purpose.

You are facing 
to be drawn to 
an eternal gain 
the joy of knowing, 
(really knowing,)
 your Savior.

Step one... you're realizing a truth few of us ever get:
Things feel out of your hands because... 
...they are.
They always have been.

But trust this:
The life that's spun out of your feeble hands rests instead in the Mighty Hands of Love.

It's better that way.


(If you need extra encouragement in your wait, consider clicking through all the links above within this post, which link to truths straight from Scripture.)


I'd love to pray for you.  Feel free to comment or email me at any time during this series.  I am praying for each and every person I hear from for the entire month of October.


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Today was Day 2 of
31 Days of Waiting:
Day 1     Day 2     Day 3     Day 4     Day 5     Day 6     Day 7     Day 8     Day 9     Day 10     Day 11     Day 12     Day 13     Day 14     Day 15     Day 16     Day 17     Day 18     Day 19     Day 20     Day 21     Day 22     Day 23     Day 24     Day 25     Day 26     Day 27     Day 28     Day 29     Day 30     Day 31


Tricia said...

We are waiting for a court date, so we can travel to Uganda and kiss those adorable little cheeks on our son. Thanks for your prayers!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for speaking God's truth into the difficult place called waiting. Looking forward to all the posts this month. I am 36 and feel like I have been praying forever for a husband and family. Please pray that this desire may be granted. But even if it is not, that I would be full of joy and trust God's will for my life. Thank you for your encouragement! VB

Anonymous said...

Waiting for my deep dark cloud of depression to go away and be completely healed of it!

RACHEL said...

Dear God, let these women FEEL how near you are... how much you INTIMATELY love them. That they are not alone in their waits. That you will exchange their temporary pain for eternal worth.

I've written each of your names down and will continue to pray this month. Please comment or email me if you'd like prayer also.

serendipity427 said...

I feel like everyone is waiting for something. I'm waiting for G-d to reveal what the next step in my life is, what my calling is, waiting for my future husband, waiting waiting waiting. But until then, I'm trying to seek His face. Thank you for choosing this subject. I'm looking forward to what He does through this month.

Anonymous said...

From January this year, my Dad has been sick (a lung condition - COPD) and he is back at home now with tracheotomy tubes. He is on nasal feeding and has been making baby steps towards recovery..It is heartbreaking to see my Dad this way...We would love your prayers for his healing and for comfort and strength for my mom and also for all the family to trust the Lord through this entire process....Thank you!

insightsintomysoul said...

Thank you for these words on waiting. A reminder I needed today as I find myself wading through the waiting process once again.

RACHEL said...

My heart breaks as I read the struggles so many of you are in. COPD... wow. I know how it feels to see your dad suffer. Serendipity - I added you to my prayer list, too. Those are huge things to wait for. I'm still waiting for my life's calling as well.

JessiAnn said...

Waiting for a fourth pregnancy after losing a baby in 2010 to ectopic pregnancy. Lost right tube in process and have a lot of internal scar tissue. Lovig my two beautiful girls, but don't feel like our family is complete. I long to carry and nurse another baby.

RACHEL said...

JessiAnn, I'm praying for you.

Susan Hill said...

"And perhaps you remember a time when life was...
more simple.
more certain.
When life was lived rather than delayed."

Umm..ouch. That pinged me deep inside. So glad I found your blog. Will definitely be following this series.

RACHEL said...

Thanks for being here, Susan.

Margot said...

I love the idea for your 31 days theme of waiting. Waiting is such a central part of our lives (all of our lives, of course). We have suffered through the loss of five babies through miscarriage, four pregnancies total since our first loss was a late second trimester loss of twin boys. Our hearts yearn to conceive, carry, deliver, and bring home our healthy baby or babies. We long to become pregant and carry to term. We would give anything to know why this has happened and to stop it from happening again. I believe in the power of prayer and would be honored if you'd add us to your list of prayers. I will be following along with your blog and I hope you will check out mine, too, as I blog for 31 days about hope, truth and gratitude at . Thank you for sharing your heart, Margot at FYS

Amber V. said...

I just came upon this series from a link on Raising Arrows & your writing was a breath of fresh air for me today. I am in a season of waiting right now & this was great encouragement to me. I thought I'd take you up on your offer to pray!! :-) My name is Amber. I’m 32 years old, a wife to a wonderful husband & a mother to three precious little ones, 4 years old & under who has struggled with chronic pain/illness for 7 years now. I had our youngest son in December of 2011 & in February of 2012 a disc herniated in my back. At the same time I began having strange symptoms affecting my entire body like nothing I had ever had before. In March of 2012 I had surgery on my back & the disc issue is now resolved. However, the strange illness continues which causes pain, tingling & numbness & has left me unable to care for my children & home. Sitting, standing & holding my baby is very painful & I haven’t been able to go to church with my family for many months. My Mom takes care of the kids & our home now & though I can be out of bed more than before the toll of this illness affects every part of our lives. I’ve seen many doctors & specialists, had many tests & scans done for MS & other neurological diseases, but we still don’t know what is happening to me. My little girl asks when Mommy is going to get better & we long to have an answer to give her. God has been so faithful to our family & we praise Him for His good work in & through all of this hardship. Would you please pray that we would receive an answer soon, that it would not be a degenerative disease & that the Lord in His mercy would bring full restoration?

Annie said...

My eyes just filled with tears seeing my name and wait written and pinned up on your corkboard. I am so humbled that you are earnestly praying for those of us who are in seasons of waiting. Thank you so much, Rachel.

I'm comforted by knowing all of this is out of my hands - it means I don't have to fear there is something I did wrong that I haven't dated or that no one has been seriously interested in me before. I know He is writing the perfect story, whether that involves a husband or not. Thank you for this post, reinforcing that truth in my heart.

RACHEL said...

Margot and Annie,
I have had you on my lists since the day you left these comments. I only recently realized I never told you so. I am praying for you every day this month.

You too, Annie, but we've already talked about that. :)