Never have I written with such fear and trembling.
Tears fill my eyes as my inbox fills with your emails and comments…
Sweet Christian sisters are waiting, hurting, living in the land of in-between.
I write each of your names on a list and pin it to my cork board. I stare at the prayer requests long before I can find words to pray.
Dear God, what can I say to these hurting women? Waiting is so hard.
Everything in me wants to find a solution… a path to the end of these waits. A dear friend is currently adopting, and the final steps are taking too long. I hold the phone and my tongue, promising myself to simply listen, instead of brainstorming solutions which, in reality, would bring her no closer to this adoption’s sweet end.
Waiting feels paralyzing. So little can be done.
Isn’t that the hardest part of any wait?
We come face to face with this harsh truth:
We are not in control.
And in the midst of pain with no end in sight, powerlessness feels like such a cruel reality.
Except it isn’t cruel at all.
Would you believe me if I told you your feeling of powerlessness is really a sweet gift?
I know, circumstances look dim.
Your stomach is in knots and you cannot guess when or if you’ll ever get all you hope for.
You’re walking in the dark, and desperately need just a hint of what the future holds.
And perhaps you remember a time when life was…
When life was lived rather than delayed.
Can I tell you a secret?
No one is in control of their own lives.
Even during that euphoric prior phase you remember as so much easier… when it felt like life responded to all of your directions and input…. even then… you were never in control.
If it feels like I’m heaping bad news onto your already hurting heart, I understand.
We have so much to talk about this month… so much more we’ll walk through together.
If you’re not ready to jump with joy at the idea that you were never in control, I understand.
Take your time.
Despite the most horrific tragedies some of you face, please trust this: God is love. And while He is not guilty for the brokenness of this world, He is absolutely in control. If He is allowing pain in your life, it is pain with a purpose.
Step one… you’re realizing a truth few of us ever get:
Things feel out of your hands because…
They always have been.
But trust this:
The life that’s spun out of your feeble hands rests instead in the Mighty Hands of Love.
It’s better that way.
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Today was Day 2 of
31 Days of Waiting:
Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 Day 6 Day 7 Day 8 Day 9 Day 10 Day 11 Day 12 Day 13 Day 14 Day 15 Day 16 Day 17 Day 18 Day 19 Day 20 Day 21 Day 22 Day 23 Day 24 Day 25 Day 26 Day 27 Day 28 Day 29 Day 30 Day 31