My giveaway pile grows with tiny toddler clothes and my own much-too-skinny pants, and the internal voice blares. Why did I gain weight? And why are my babies so big now? Oh how I'm ready for another little bundle...
I remind myself to pay attention to the audio-Scripture, and I think about the readers whose painful waits I'm praying for. I don't think I answered that email from the mother with a prodigal son, oh how I'm praying. I hope she knows. My spirit sinks deeper and I notice how dirty the floor is under my knees. I should clean it, and my inbox, but look at the piles of clothes around me!
I make mental checklists for tonight's adoptive mother's meeting. I think through potential blog posts and my family's dinner. I fold and sort and sigh and I hate giving toddler clothes away, even for local refugees, what if I need them!
And then...
And then, I hear God say, "Let go."
So I stuff more clothes into a giveaway trash bag, then hear it again. "Let go."
It's not an audible voice, but I feel it in my soul. I need to let go.
I later open my laptop and read this:
"God doesn't ask me to be perfect; He asks me to praise."
And I think about my day...
my inability to really hear His holy Scripture because of the noise of my internal complaints.
I want to be perfect.
My abilities, my life, my circumstances... to be perfect.
And I smile big knowing God doesn't require my perfection. But He loves my praise.
But how do we praise Him when our life is a mess and all we wait for is out of reach?
We let go.
We let go of our expectations.
Our frustrations.
Our stresses and fears.
We let go and turn our attention to His beauty.
God interrupts the noise in our brains -- the complaints and worries and lists -- and He calls us, "Let go. Surrender. I hear your complaints. But I want to hear your praise."
I laugh.
That's all You want?
You don't want me prettier, more organized, more efficient, more perfect?
You simply want my praise?
That I can do.
And right there, in the midst of the waits and messes and piles and unheard audio-Scripture blaring, I praise.
Oh, how I love Him.
And how much more He loves us!
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Please consider looking through the comments in this series
and praying for our sisters who wait.
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Waiting? Hurting?
Have God-glorifying ideas for this series?
Comment or email me.
rachelgoode1@gmail.com
We'd love to pray for you all month.
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Today was Day 24 of
31 Days of Waiting:
Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 Day 6 Day 7 Day 8 Day 9 Day 10 Day 11 Day 12 Day 13 Day 14 Day 15 Day 16 Day 17 Day 18 Day 19 Day 20 Day 21 Day 22 Day 23 Day 24 Day 25 Day 26 Day 27 Day 28 Day 29 Day 30 Day 31
















3 comments:
This is just the thing... letting go. I've been working through this over & over as the months pass by & the pain grows. He is faithful & has been helping me... wish it was as easy to praise as it was to let all the fears ring loud but PRAISE Him for how He loves us & bids us to come!
Surrender is so hard, isn't it? Which is funny since we're not in control even while we try to be... Jesus, help us. We know You will!
Beautiful - thanks!
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