Tuesday, October 23, 2012

{24} LET GO in Your Wait

I'm cleaning out closets and rearranging rooms.  All the while, Scripture plays through my iPhone speakers, yet I hardly hear it over the noise of  my own thoughts.

My giveaway pile grows with tiny toddler clothes and my own much-too-skinny pants, and the internal voice blares.  Why did I gain weight? And why are my babies so big now?  Oh how I'm ready for another little bundle...

I remind myself to pay attention to the audio-Scripture, and I think about the readers whose painful waits I'm praying for.  I don't think I answered that email from the mother with a prodigal son, oh how I'm praying. I hope she knows.  My spirit sinks deeper and I notice how dirty the floor is under my knees.  I should clean it, and my inbox, but look at the piles of clothes around me!

I make mental checklists for tonight's adoptive mother's meeting.  I think through potential blog posts and my family's dinner.  I fold and sort and sigh and I hate giving toddler clothes away, even for local refugees, what if I need them!

And then...

And then, I hear God say, "Let go."

So I stuff more clothes into a giveaway trash bag, then hear it again. "Let go."

It's not an audible voice, but I feel it in my soul.  I need to let go.

I later open my laptop and read this:
"God doesn't ask me to be perfect; He asks me to praise."

And I think about my day...
my inability to really hear His holy Scripture because of the noise of my internal complaints.  
I want to be perfect.
My abilities, my life, my circumstances... to be perfect.
And I smile big knowing God doesn't require my perfection.  But He loves my praise.

But how do we praise Him when our life is a mess and all we wait for is out of reach?
We let go.

We let go of our expectations.
Our frustrations.
Our stresses and fears.
We let go and turn our attention to His beauty.

God interrupts the noise in our brains -- the complaints and worries and lists -- and He calls us, "Let go.  Surrender.  I hear your complaints.  But I want to hear your praise.

I laugh.
That's all You want?
You don't want me prettier, more organized, more efficient, more perfect?
You simply want my praise?
That I can do.

And right there, in the midst of the waits and messes and piles and unheard audio-Scripture blaring, I praise.
Oh, how I love Him.
And how much more He loves us!


Please consider looking through the comments in this series 
and praying for our sisters who wait.


Waiting? Hurting? 
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Today was Day 24 of
31 Days of Waiting:
Day 1     Day 2     Day 3     Day 4     Day 5     Day 6     Day 7     Day 8     Day 9     Day 10     Day 11     Day 12     Day 13     Day 14     Day 15     Day 16     Day 17     Day 18     Day 19     Day 20     Day 21     Day 22     Day 23     Day 24     Day 25     Day 26     Day 27     Day 28     Day 29     Day 30     Day 31


Amber V. said...

This is just the thing... letting go. I've been working through this over & over as the months pass by & the pain grows. He is faithful & has been helping me... wish it was as easy to praise as it was to let all the fears ring loud but PRAISE Him for how He loves us & bids us to come!

RACHEL said...

Surrender is so hard, isn't it? Which is funny since we're not in control even while we try to be... Jesus, help us. We know You will!

Cherry said...

Beautiful - thanks!