Tuesday, July 17, 2012

I Like Big Purses & I Cannot Lie

(As usual, my pictures have nothing to do with my text! Oops!)

It's Sunday morning, and we're running late for church.

Because, you know, a day of worship is best started by me hissing at my children to "Get in the car NOW, you can pee when you get there!"

My sweet girls take Mama tantrums well.  They happily sing songs, squatting to play with each blade of grass on the way to the car as I snarl, "We're LAAATE, we're LAAATE!"

Just as I wonder if I need exorcism, we reach the church parking lot nearly on time.  I exhale.  All is right in the world.

     Amelia:  "I no undies, Mommy."

     Me:  "Baby, you have to wear undies. You're a big girl.  You only wear Pull Ups at night."

     Amelia:  "I no undies, Mommy."

     Me:  "We don't have a Pull Up with us, sweet girl.  Just wear your panties."

I turn off the ignition.  The girls are wiggling out of their car seats as Caroline screams...

     Caroline: "No, Mama!  Amelia's really not wearing any undies! No Pull Ups! Nothing!"

I whip toward the back seat and pull up Amelia's lacy blue dress.  It's a horrific sight.  Nothing but precious, narrow, bare butt cheeks.  I suddenly need an exorcist again. I am mad at myself for not keeping an extra Pull Up in the car, and for forgetting to finish dressing Amelia. I'm mad at Amelia for waiting until now to tell me her bare bottom state.  We'll really be late now.  I shove the key back into the ignition, ready to race home for panties, when Caroline again shouts from the back seat.

     Caroline:  "It's okay! A long time ago I put some of Amelia's panties in your purse."

I am stunned.  My four year old foresaw this moment?  Caroline climbs confidently into the passenger seat to rifle through my mammoth purse.  Her arm is in up to her shoulder.  A few moments later, her fist springs out of the purse, then up into the air in victory.

     Caroline:  "See? Panties!"

A pair of tiny white panties is clutched in her fist.  I put them on Amelia.  We walk through the church parking lot, all holding hands.  I am in a confused daze.  Mama Caroline is beaming with pride.  Amelia's narrow, properly clothed rump wiggles as she runs towards the children's hall.

I can only laugh and wonder...
What else is inside of my purse?


Katie said...

Thank you for providing my morning snort. That's hysterical.

Caroline H said...

Ha ha! Thanks for starting my day off with a laugh! I love that Caroline was so proud of herself for saving the day!

L.O.T. said...

He he he!!! I know then it wasn't so comical, but it provided a good laugh this Tuesday morning. Thanks for sharing! Way to go Caroline!!!

Jessica Whatley said...

AHHHH I'm dying here!!! Why am I not a bit surprised Caroline would do that!

Mandy said...

This is GREAT! Aw, you're a good mom! And love how God works through our kids. Coming to you from Debi's at Funky Planet. I so enjoyed reading this.

Debi Stangeland said...
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Crazyblessed said...
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Kenya G. Johnson said...

This was soooooo sweet and CUTE!!! Wow. As for those snarly moments I just turn my emotions off when I'm ready for church waiting on my husband and son. They seem to hustle when they see me calmly reading a book while sitting with my purse in my lap. I make eye contact with no one and it works. We are still late but not super late ;-)

Chris Coyle said...

Did you ever find out why Caroline really put the undies in your purse?? LOL

I have gotten a lot better about it over the years, but at one point, people were referring to my purse as my "Let's Make A Deal" bag ... as in the game show where the host asks for a random object and someone whips it out of their purse. Looking for a screwdriver? There was probably one in my bag somewhere. You name it, if it wasn't in my purse, there was some suitable substitute that would fit the bill. I was great in an emergency. ;) [#TALU]

Anne Kimball said...

This was hysterical.
It;s Hermione's purse in the last Harry Potter movie, where she pulls a tent out and everything else under the sun.
Very funny!

Anyway, thanks for joining up with the TALU!

in the coop said...

Oh my word that is funny. Whatever would we do without older siblings to save us? (TALU)

MariaAna said...

awesome and cute story about your lil girls! hahaha one is your life saver while the other is your humour provider. what else do you need? its all perfect! cheers to all the beautiful instances in your life! here from TALU!!!!

Debbie said...

Oh my! Boy did you ever get lucky on that one! I would check that purse too. You may have some left over food tucked in there too. LOL (TALU)