|About to blow out birthday candles|
Shew. I am one tired mama. (Is there any other kind!?)
My mind has been whirling lately. Brad and I have been talking.
Several things are up in the air in our world right now. Our heads are stuck in “what-if’s” and “maybe soon’s”.
|at my cubicle|
And in the meantime, real life keeps buzzing.
Busy at work, busy at home, two little girls laughing and crying and holding hands and telling on each other. Never enough time to spend with all of the many people we love. We are so blessed.
When I get a half-moment to breathe, I spend much of the moment contemplating my own belly button and this whirl-wind life of mine… am I spending it wisely?
Am I who I want to be?
And I don’t just mean in the superficial way. Sure, I care about superficial stuff. Ten times a day I look in the mirror and groan about how not-blonde I’ve become and debate whether this (more) natural, less expensive stuff is worth it. Just this morning I was dreaming up some new wardrobe staples and telling myself that materialism is okay because I’ll never lead any stylish people to Jesus with the way I’ve looked lately. Ha!
And I get distracted easily.
But more than the superficial, I want to know if the REAL, inner me is who I want to be in Christ. The short answer is no, not yet. If I had to sum up who I want to be, I’d say this: I want to be someone who believes God.
That’s all. That sums up everything. Because if I believe God, it means:
- I know His promises and Word.
- Circumstances don’t rattle me because my faith is in Him alone.
- I trust His love and love radically in return.
- I live with a boldness and grace and gentleness and joy that could change the world.
- My priorities are His, my actions are His, my heart is His.
So no, I’m not living as that girl right now. It will take an act of God to get me there. Still, I know that he who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it. Amen.