I want to teach.
Is all of the Christian life a lesson in learning to wait well on the Lord?
I am embarrassed to admit that. I realize that wanting to teach God's Word might imply that I think I have some special gift or knowledge. But that is not what I am saying! I just want to be used. And I see again and again in Scripture where God uses the weak, the empty, the poor, the unable. He MAKES them able to serve His purposes.
And I want to be used.
I am crying out to God for it.
I ache for it.
Here is the thing. I know that God is moving. He is acting, and His perfect plans are progressing. There is nothing that I can add or subtract to all that God intends to do. His glory will be known.
I just want to be a part of the process.
What if I sit idly by? Will God stop loving me? No! I am His child forever!
Even so, I DON'T WANT TO SIT IDLY BY!
I want God's Word to burn so deeply from within me that I HAVE to speak! That I HAVE to act! That failing to do so would feel like a burning "fire shut up in my bones." (see Jer. 20:9)
So...
what do I do?
How do I respond?
Where do I serve?
I
don't
know.
So, yes, I will wait in His Word, continuing to seek Him. But I also wonder whether I should just DO something. SOMEthing. SOMETHING!
4 comments:
You DO teach... through this blog :) God has used you to speak such truth to me through this blog. Just today I was lamenting with a friend about how much waiting sucks and thinking "will there ever come a day when I am NOT waiting for something?" and literally SECONDS later I clicked to your blog and read the last line. God does use you each and every day but I am sure this desire to be used even more is from Him. I'll be praying for that revelation :) LOVE seeing how great Amelia is doing!
You have always been a great teacher...I'm reminded of sitting in a circle on your apartment floor in college as you led an intelligent and well-planned Bible Study. = )
meg - thank you so much for your sweet comment! i hope you get to see sweet amelia in person again someday!
and toni - i absolutely love you. only a friend as sweet as you would allow me to consider that "teaching" when i was in the middle of the most hypocritical stage of my life! love is blind, and i am so thankful for that! love you
i know exactly how you feel !! thats why i started a blog too :) - God Bless !
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