An Apology

Brad showed me an email the other day from someone who was offended by a mass email we sent out during the adoption process. Let me clarify and apologize for anyone I hurt.

In the email, I said that I was thankful to be using our adoption agency.  We’d seen many people in Uganda who did not use an agency and were having a very hard time. I mentioned a couple of families in particular whose cases were thrown out of court the day before our hearing because they were missing documents or proper evidence.

One adoptive mama who is home with her precious Ugandan children after an independent adoption felt that I was calling independent adoptions unethical.  She assured me that there are ethical ways to adopt independently, and that it was irresponsible to imply child trafficking on those who don’t use an agency.

Honestly, I was blind sided .  I have never thought that any of the precious families who adopt independently are involved in unethical activities. Child trafficking had not even crossed my mind. My only point was that independent adoptions seem to me to be more difficult. But difficult is not wrong or bad.  I am sure that there are advantages and disadvantages whether you use an agency or adopt independently. But to me, I like the assurance of having advocates on our side, who make sure that we have every document we need and walk us through each step of the in-country process. It my opinion regarding convenience, not ethics.

To the mama I offended, (& anyone else who thought I was calling independent adoptions unethical,) I am truly sorry. I understand that my mentioning cases being thrown out of court for lack of evidence might imply that these families are trying to adopt children who shouldn’t be adopted. That is not what I meant. Some of the families I admire most have rescued children from deplorable conditions through independent adoption. Who am I to knock that when we’re taking home a little princess from a loving, plush babies’ home? Surely it is even better to adopt children from hard conditions.

I stand by my thankfulness for an agency who makes sure our documents and affairs run smoothly in country. But I regret offending sweet families who showed God’s love by coming for their children through independent adoption.

And because blog posts without pictures are boring, here are a few:

Brad learning to play the bow harp.
There are LOTS of bodas.

And LOTS of election posters.


Big ones.
Out to eat!

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  1. Wow! When I read your email that never once crossed my mind either. I've known of very quick and seamless independent adoptions in Uganda and some that didn't go so well. I never thought it was due something unethical on the parents' part, just an honest mistake with paperwork or something like that. It is good you cleared it up. I just thought I'd throw it out there, when I read it the first time, I took it how you meant it. 🙂

  2. Love this! One year ago today I was staying in that same house you are in, and hanging out with Godfrey as well! And.. more importantly.. holding your sweet baby! I visited Loving Hearts twice while staying there with my missions group, and fell in love with sweet Mercy and Cherish, and their amazing stories. I am SOO glad to see that she has found new life with you guys, and is even more beautiful that I could remember!

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