It has been months since I’ve been this happy. It’s funny how accustomed I’d become to a heavy black cloud hanging over me. It’s not easy to watch your baby girl grow up in pictures continents away without any idea of when you can finally get to her. It affects everything. Everything. Even when you think that you are compartmentalizing your pain well and functioning just fine, there is still a weighty sadness that hangs in your soul.
So all of the sudden, I am laughing more easily, talking more fluidly, smiling more readily… there is an end in sight. We really think we will hold Amelia relatively soon!
Yesterday afternoon, Caroline and I spent a small fortune in Target, and it was an absolute thrill. We need so many things for our trip… weeks worth of formula, power converters, foods and medicines and toiletries and on and on. It was the MOST FUN I have had shopping in a LONG time! I felt like I was walking on air, and my search for contact solution somehow felt a little like a millionaire shopping spree!
We ended our trip by picking up a few matching outfits for Amelia and Caroline. It was the first time I’ve known what size they’ll both be when they’re together. I giggled all of the way through the check-out line.
So, 2011, I was a little hard on you at first. But I forgive you. You have redeemed yourself. I think that you and me are going to get along just fine!