This stinks. We didn’t get our travel dates confirmed today. Maybe we will tomorrow, but tonight,
and I’m tempted to chug a two liter of diet coke while I gorge on a 10 pound bag of these:
The thing about our adoption process is that every “little delay” we’ve had so far was NOT so much a little delay. They turn into monster delays, and I often turn into a monster. And then God calms my little monster self down and teaches me some mind-blowing lessons of His indescribable love and sovereignty.
And then I feel prepared to wait forever. To rest in His Plans, no matter what they are, forever.
Until I’m disappointed again.
Until I am not sure when I’ll get to hold my daughter.
Until I take my eyes off of the beauty of GOD, and let them fall on the unsteadiness of our situation.
I put my hope in circumstances, and then my hopes are dashed. (Hope is never lost when you’re hoping in God alone, but that isn’t what I was doing.)
And here comes monster me.
|Oh, stop groaning at my weird pictures. I’m in a funk.
Let me have my mood!
It’s emotionally exhausting to wait nearly two years, think we are FINALLY about to book a plane to Uganda & Amelia today, rejoice, and then end the day unsure about what is even going on. Is this a one day delay? Another huge delay? I don’t know. All we have is silence.
Over the past two years, even the monster in me has often been comforted through tough days with Psalm 139:16:
all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
That is amazing. Do you mean to tell me that LOOONG ago, God wrote the following in His book!?
- how long our adoption would take
- how many days Amelia would grow up in Africa
- how many days we will be separated from Caroline
- how many nights we’d lay in bed with heavy hearts
Who knows. Perhaps He even designed how many days I would spend as that weird orange monster.
So whatever disappointments or struggles you are facing today, remember that God wrote each day of your life in His book before one of them came to be. There is a loving design to the length of time you are single, or sick, or struggling, or waiting, or lonely… Your struggle is allowed by the patient Hand of God, who wants you to turn to Him in your distress. He wants us to learn to rest on Him alone.
The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9