Monday, January 3, 2011

2011

2011, I never wanted to see your ugly face without Amelia in our arms. I’m not sure how you still came when 2010 clearly was not finished delivering its promises.

I know, I know. This is very negative talk for someone who claims to have been implanted with patience from God. I still feel much more patient than I ever was. But I am also broken, and hurting, and a little depressed, to be honest. And I haven’t been spending as much time in Scripture since Christmas. New Years Eve snuck up on me, and ugly 2011 sprang into view without Amelia. Fellow adoptive families are arriving home from Uganda with their children, and I am suddenly filled with as much jealousy as I am happiness for their sake.

So I will force myself to write a list of things God did for us in 2010. Thankfulness will strip away many of my sinful attitudes.  And I will welcome 2011. 2011: The year many promises will finally be fulfilled. And I will spend some time in Scripture, letting His Word strip away all of the ugly that is overwhelming my heart right now.

2 comments:

sara said...

oh friend. I too, did not want to welcome 2011 without our sweet boy. I also never imagined it would be so hard to start the year without him. Praying for your heart whenever I am sad...which is often:)

This is THE year sweet friend! It HAS to be!!

Cheryl said...

It's been a while since I checked on you... I'm so sorry to see you are still waiting. I do know just how you feel... and I know you know this already, but God DOES have a beautiful, perfect plan and He will bring your baby girl home to you. Praying it's SOON!