Who knew that Chick-fil-A’s peppermint chocolate milkshake could make me cry?
I had no idea that I was on the verge of an emotional breakdown. I’ve grown accustomed to adoption delays. In fact, I was quite proud of my emotional strength this past week. It is starting to look less likely that we will get Amelia in 2010. It is still a possibility, but my mind can’t wrap around how it could work out, given various circumstances. Yet, I hadn’t cried yet. I was feeling strong in my faith, knowing that if 2011 was God’s timing, then we could trust that and rest easy.
That is, until our little family ate lunch at Chick-fil-A. As we cleaned up our mess and prepared to go home, Brad noticed a picture of the Christmas time milkshake, which we devoured last holiday season. Brad exclaimed his amazement that the shake was already for sale, and jokingly exclaimed, “It’s Christmastime!”
Before I knew what had hit me, a wave of immediate tears slammed into me like a Mac truck, and I slumped back into our booth, sobbing. I didn’t know if Amelia would be with us by Christmas. I pulled it together quickly, realizing what a nut-case I looked like in public, only to have it nearly happen again 30 minutes later in Target when we passed racks of baby Christmas pajamas.
I’m still praying with all of my heart that we get our baby girl before year end… but even more than that, I am praying that God do exactly His will, even if His will is more painful waiting. We know that His will is loving, and that our sufferings are meant to STRENGTHEN our faith and teach us to hope AGAINST circumstantial evidence. God is mighty, and He is love. He CAN bring Amelia home at the perfect time, and He WILL, because it is His desire.