Well, the latest news from Uganda reveals that the possible delays I once wrote about are now definite ones. I guess our well-intentioned plans to control the timing of our adoption so that we travel in the summer are now laughable. It’s probably always laughable when we think we’re in control. And I’m not saying all of this in a bitter way. I am fully at peace right now with the fact that God’s timing is not for us to understand, and that it is far better and more loving than we realize.
Now I admit, when I first got news that the Uganda situation MIGHT be unraveling, it felt like punch to my gut. My hands literally shook for two days. I frantically wondered how I could FIX THIS. OUR baby is there. It has to go OUR way.
But now, I feel a sweet surrender. I feel like Caroline must feel after throwing a one hour tantrum in her highchair because she WILL NOT “eat one big bite” before getting down. And here I am… after a long while of sobbing and struggling and finally taking that bite that is so hard to swallow, I can get down and rest in my Father’s arms. I can trust that He’ll take us on the path that might not be easy, but we will be carried by Him.
From what I understand of Lifeline Adoption Agency’s latest update, which was posted last night, the Ugandan courts are simply keeping up with those decisions already made by the US Embassy. They have stopped granting court dates for adoption hearings. Since the US has put visas on hold, no Ugandan children are coming home to America right now anyway… so why schedule the court date and have families stuck in Uganda for months?
What do we do if we can’t go to Uganda? I don’t know. I cannot express how much I love that country. And I do love some specific little baby there. I love that baby like I loved little Caroline when she was kicking and flipping in my belly. If we don’t adopt from there, it will forever leave an ache in my heart. I know there are other children to adopt. Of the 145 million orphans in the world, 40 to 50 million are adoptable. It’s not that there is a shortage of sweet children to fill our home… but I love this PARTICULAR baby with an ache that is indescribable.
Even more than I love our baby though — and it is a lot — I trust our God. He is faithful. So we will rest. We won’t struggle. We will listen for His direction. We’ll wait on Him, and know that He is Love.