Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Missing God

This Christmas, my husband and I had a great time visiting his family. I have to admit, though, that I missed getting to spend a lot of time with my own family. I missed my brother's family living in Japan. I wished I could see more of my siblings who live in D.C. and Memphis. And even though I only live an hour away from my parents, there is nothing like spending a long holiday visit piled up in their living room laughing together and eating way too much delicious food.

And happily, I missed God.  Okay, that sounds very dark. Why am I happy to miss God? I was traveling and not spending the kind of time with Him that I had been before being on the road. What is good about that?

I'm glad I missed God because my sick nature is to completely forget about Him. Sure, I tried to muster up the will power for a string of quiet times -- and then trail off without even noticing.  This year, though, God has been opening up to me the beauty of a RELATIONSHIP with Him.  I love Him like never before.  And finally, I am learning to miss Him... even before my whole world falls apart as a reminder that I need to come back to Him.

This is COMPLETELY the Holy Spirit in me. I never felt this before. It is not my own goodness. I have seen how badly I fail to love God in my own power.  So if you are struggling to love God, just tell Him! He can change your heart so that it's in your new nature to chase after Him like He chases after us.  It is a beautiful romance.  I pray God would change my heart EVEN MORE to love Him more fully.

1 comment:

Jim and April said...

Oh how I feel that way too! Within the past 2 weeks because of Christmas and us getting everything ready to start the adoption, I had failed to do my bible reading/time with Him everyday like I wanted to and it was so great because like you said, I missed Him, I missed that time with Him and I asked Him to forgive me because even though our adoption is a good thing and Christmas is a good thing, if I make them a priority over Him than thats not ok with me and its not good, now that I am slowly getting back into things and trying to make sure i keep my priorities right, it feels so good after I have that time with Him and in His word! I am in love with Him more now than ever in my life like you also mentioned and I hate the times that I don't spend with him! I realize more and more I need Him every second of my life!