Isn’t it so sweet to rely on God? I’m staring at our spreadsheet of adoption expenses broken down by month, unable to be overwhelmed by the enormous “Balance Due Per Month” column that will grow with each coming month. I SHOULD be overwhelmed, but I’m not, and it’s for one simple reason… I can look back at the months that have already passed and see that God has provided exactly what we needed.
I haven’t looked at this spreadsheet in a while because there were some very minor “past due” items that I did not want to think about. (Unhealthy avoidance… can anyone relate?) So far, they were small items like passport renewals which couldn’t yet hold up our progress. But they were looming in the back of my mind. I was aware that bigger expenses were yet to come. How could we juggle the coming months of exceedingly costly payments when we hadn’t even zeroed out the past?
But on Sunday, we received a large check that not only zeroed out our December and January items due… meaning that we are caught up PLUS covered through the end of this month. The gift also left us with a few hundred dollars to cover part of February’s coming expenses. The sweet family who send this check has their own ministry – their own godly ways that they could’ve used these funds. The fact that they blessed us with this gift is a humbling and tangible enactment of God’s lavish love for our family.
And it reminds me that I need to worry less, and look out for God’s provision more. I have a CPA exam next month that I am very behind on preparing for because of the sickness our family passed around in early January. But I feel a peace thinking about it now, knowing that it’s God who grants study time, God who grants retention, God who plans whether it is best for me to pass or fail.
Whatever it is that you face today, do your best with it. Put in your effort. But then let go and rest in the assurance that, in the end, it is not your effort that makes all things possible, but God’s unfailing love.