“Your grace gives me fear
And Your grace draws me near
And all that it asks, it provides.”
– Derek Webb
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the person I want to be, and how impossible it seems to get there. My sister often emails me excerpts from the blog of Katie in Uganda. She gave up everything to give her life to Christ and orphans there. When I read the journey she’s been through and the miracles that she has experienced as a result of loving God more than comfort, my soul aches to find my own path to that point. She admits over and over that she is a sinner, and just like any young American girl. Yet she humbled herself so that God could use her in incredible ways.
What will it take for my life to be like that? It’s humbling to see where I am today, and wonder how in the world God will sanctify me into a person who loves nothing more than to pour myself and all that I have out to others. I feel chained to 100 obligations that God says I don’t have to worry about.
But thank God for this: While true Christianity requires impossibly radical living, God’s grace provides for us anything that it requires from us. I know I can’t be who I am called to be. Jesus’ blood cries out for me to be more than I am today. But His blood also promises to make me who I cannot be apart from Him. And I am telling you… I know He is faithful to do it. And I am willing to be changed. I may love my comfort now, but I am willing (and waiting) for God to bring me to renouncing any/all of it for the sake of a life lived IN Him.